A slightly updated version of the address.....
(c) E. K. Esq *
(with apologies to R. Burns)
The Chieftain o’ the puddin’ race,
In history now takes its place
Wi’ delicacies fondly kent,
Their tenure on our menus spent.
For Haggis has usurp-ed been
By Scotia’s ain nouvelle cuisine.
Our pallid, plooky faced complexion
owes much to this august confection.
It helps you work, and rest, and play,
“Aye, right!” the dieticians say.
So, anxious to resolve the matter,
We fry it in deep fat, wi’ batter.
For have we not, since we were weans,
attacked our arteries and veins
wi’ sweeties, crisps and all things fried?
Our hunger never satisfied,
we cry for seconds, even third yins,
despite the pleas of cardiac surgeons.
And pity we the fool who eats a…
saveloy or deep fried pizza,
when there amongst the pies and fish,
resplendent lies our National Dish.
As much a part of Caledonia
As midgies, rickets and pneumonia.
So all guid Scotsmen, spread the word,
Proclaim the carbohydrate turd.
And from the land of kilts & cabers,
go forth, evangelise your neighbours.
Cycle near and drive your cars far
All hail, the glorious Deep Fried Mars Bar!
* no reprinting without written permission
or yur heed's aff.